Suffering for Love

This is an article on Velonews from elite cyclocrosser Barry Wicks about one of his motorpacing sessions. It helps shed some light on the mindset of an athlete dedicated to the pursuit of excellence, and it reminds me of a conversation I once had early in my triathlon career that inspired a very critical element of my training . It was the summer of 2006 and we were spending a few days at professional triathlete Matt Seeley's cabin in Washington. This was right in the middle of a summer-long campaign which saw friend and coach Elliot Bassett and I attack the triathlon scene in Canada and the Pacific Northwest, racing on almost every weekend for 2 months as we lived and traveled in a suburban with our camping and racing gear. For those people not familiar with Montana Triathlon lore, Matt Seeley was one of the original members of the infamous Team Stampede, which included the likes of olympic gold medalist backstroker David Berkoff, the ever eccentric Todd Struckman, John Hartpence, Ted Zderic, Chuck Dumke, and others. He's also known for some great Ironman races, particularly at Coeur d'Alene. Almost every year the group shoots for a reunion race and a few days of hanging out. Probably because I was a fairly green triathlete at the time, I was paying close attention to all the triathlon banter, and I will probably always remember John Hartpence's conclusion about his racing season, saying, "I need to remind myself to suffer more. I definitely avoided suffering too much this season. I've never been able to race fast if I don't 'teach' myself to suffer in workouts." Of course I don't really think I understood what he meant at the time, and for people not trying to make a living by training their body to undergo intense physical distress for hours at a time I'm sure this seems at least mildly counterintuitive, but it's really the path to success. Even Lance Armstrong said, "what makes a great endurance athlete is the ability to absorb potenial embarrassment, and to suffer without complaint. I was discovering that if it was a matter of gritting my teeth, not caring how it looked, and outlasting everybody else, I won. It didn't seem to matter what sport it was--in a straight-ahead, long-distance race, I could beat anybody. If it was a suffer-fest, I was good at it." So, the text in its entirety below:

Barry Wicks: Learning to Suffer

The wheel in front of me twitches and pulses with enormous energy as it tries desperately to pull away from my gasping breaths. My legs ache, the pain beginning deep, unbelievably deep, slowly creeping up through the layers of my consciousness, finally reaching the threshold where my struggle to ignore it is overcome and it comes gushing out in great spasms. I steel myself and try to absorb the agony, become one with the sensation, find the zen in it. The road begins to flatten out, the pace eases ever so imperceptibly, and the screaming in my muscles goes down half an octave, I inhale violently, grabbing an extra ounce of air, exhale the burned up gases from my lungs and relish in my victory. This is a suffering I bring on myself. The motivations lie somewhere in my ego and desires to prove myself. The time to question my motives is not now. The road begins its inevitable trip back towards the Cruz and I have to go deep inside once again to slay the dragon. The workout finishes and I sputter out a cool down, muscles throbbing and ticking like a hot jet engine after a long flight. Straining to gain back a feeling and function of familiarity as the waves of lactic acid and whatever else I unleashed on them begins to drain away. My brain begins the process of rationalizing what it just did to my muscles and after short complaints, the euphoria pours in, and my legs quickly forgive and forget. How easily they are fooled into complacency as the wash of endorphins flood down from my brain into my body. How quick to think that this cruel head will never again subject them to such a beating. Such blind faith is rewarded with another bout and another, over and over again, beating the memory into them, as they begin to accept what it is they must do. The pilot of my pain is a 110 pound woman astride a suped up motor scooter. Who knew such a beautiful creature could cause so much agony and find such glee in causing this suffering? Her carefree smile and the angelic note of her voice is betrayed by a devilish gleam in her eyes as I race up next to her and begin another effort. She has no sympathy for my plight, no thought of reducing my suffering, even though it is by her delicate throttle hand that I live or perish, suffer or recover, succeed or fail.
But, then again, I have brought this upon myself in my quest for greatness. This quest she understands and is just as committed to as I, executing my torture I have asked of her. Would it not be greater and nobler if not self-directed and orchestrated, reaching for a higher ground or purpose through suffering. I could have just as easily stayed in bed, warm and comfortable under the sheets as the blazing orange sun rose above the fog, happy and content to doze off in bliss while the day began. Instead, something drove me out of that cocoon of comfort, into my slippery cold bike clothes and out onto that road and into that pain. That driving force, the thing that gives me so much pain, so much pleasure, and for which all things are ultimately done, is none other than love. Love of my bike, love of my being, love of my life, it is all about the love.

And now I'm headed out for a ride.

Running.

Thanks to good friend Alice Jones for the forwarded copy of this excerpt. Enjoy.

From: Down the River, "Footrace in the Desert" Edward Abbey"

Labor Day, 1980: the Hopi town of New Oraibi, Arizona. Seventh Annual Louis Tewanima Footrace. The course extends for seven long looping miles in the desert heat, over dirt roads, across the highway, and up a winding and sandy trail to the top of Third Mesa and the three-hundred-year-old village of Old Oraibi..."

"...We watch the lead runner approach, a bare-chested young man with a red bandana tied around his long hair. He has a bony, almost gaunt face, a small, lean, muscular, perfect body, and serious eyes. He runs steadily, uphill, breathing audibly but not, it seems to me, with any trouble. He is at least a quarter-mile ahead of everybody else. Watching him go, on and on at that apparently easy, unflagging pace, I feel an emotion which I have not felt in a long time: a certain awe in the presence of ability and determination far beyond any ambition of my own, a surge of admiration for the physical beauty of a good athlete in action.

'Who's that,' I ask.' Hoffman Shorty,' says one of the men near me.' Hoffman Shorty? You mean Shorty Hoffman?'' No, Hoffman Shorty. He won the race last year too.'

[...] A mile away and five hundred feet below I see one small lone dark figure streaking among the corn patches, the bean patches, the garbage dumps, and burnt-out abandoned Chevrolets that lie between Old and New Oraibi. Hoffman Shorty is far ahead of me. And of everybody."

2nd Place Soma Half Ironman

Forgive me if this entry is a little disjointed... I'm back in Durango after racing Soma yesterday morning, and then driving until midnight to get back home. It wasn't the ideal post-race scenario, but I needed to get back for work today, and I've still got another loaded week of training for Ironman preparation. The Soma triathlon has a rich history as one of the last competitive half ironman races for the season, and this year certainly added to that reputation. It's becoming near impossible to really discern who might be racing in the pro ranks just by looking at a start list posted on an event website, and any time decent prize money is offered pros emerge from their respective hideouts to compete for the cash. This race was no exception, as the men's field grew considerably in the final days, proving that it would not be any easy task to take one of the top 3 spots. Some of the notables were multiple Ironman champion Chris McDonald, IM Arizona champ Joszef Major, Bjorn Anderrson, and Olympian Paul Tichelaar. Chris McDonald and I were fortunate to share a great homestay with local Tempe resident and triathlete Karl Tunberg, and he made sure we had everything we needed to be prepared for race day. Most importantly, he taught us the nutritional value of coconut milk, let us swim in his endless pool, and drove us to the pro meeting in a Rock Racingesque black Cadillac Escalade with rims. With the race starting at 6:40, it was an early wake-up and breakfast before a short drive to the race start. Because Tempe Town Lake runs east to west, it's nearly impossible to avoid swimming right into the sunrise at some point on the course, and we had a stretch of about 500m where it was extremely difficult to navigate (for evidence, see swim times for ITU athlete Paul Tichelaar and consistent front pack swimmer Bjorn Anderrson). I was swimming strong at the start, holding onto Chris's feet until I lost contact trying to sight for the turnaround buoy. I still came out in good position (discounting the manfish Marky V) and immediately began chasing for the front pack. It didn't take me nearly as long as the last race in Austin before I was riding with Paul, Bjorn, Mark, and Chris, and I was feeling strong. I gave a good dig at the front of the race to gauge the strength of everyone, and when everyone followed, I decided to ride more conservatively than my last outing. I let Chris and Bjorn take some turns at the front, and when Bjorn finally jumped with less than 6 miles to go, I just stayed put and waited for the run. Unfortunately, I didn't have a stellar transition, and coming out of T2 I was trailing Chris by about 25 meters. We caught Bjorn within the first mile, and when I noticed that we were running through the first few miles around 5:45, I backed off a little and aimed for my goal pace of 5:55-6 minute pace. Chris stayed about the same distance in front of me for most of the rest of the run, finally putting a little more time into me near the end of the race, but I felt like I had given my best effort for the day and clocked a PR for the half-marathon with a 1:18:14 split, about 50 seconds down from Chris. Paul Tichelaar was chasing me through the first half of the run, but slowed a bit coming down the home stretch and finished third about 6 minutes back. Considering that I had some good, hard training right up until Thursday, I was excited with my performance, finishing in my best time for a half: 3:49:48. I'll be taking a couple of moderate days to recover from the concrete on the run and the subsequent 8 1/2 hour drive home before picking it back up for the last hard push of Ironman training. Congrats to all the race finishers and a big thanks to the whole Red Rock crew and volunteers for putting on another good race down in Tempe.

8th Place Longhorn Ironman 70.3 Austin

Fresh back from a weekend trip to Austin, Texas, for the Longhorn Ironman 70.3. I had a pretty solid week of training leading up to the race, so I wasn't sure how my legs would feel on race day. Thursday saw a hard ride with 1:45 at Ironman pace, but I planned to take Friday and Saturday relatively easy in preparation. The good news was that during my pacing effort, I caught and passed former Tour de France rider turned T.V. commentator Bob Roll. I'm not saying Bob's in top form anymore, but he was still putting out good power, and any time I get to ride with someone who has been at that level at any time in their life is fun for me. Things didn't go as smoothly as I would have liked on my trip to Austin, starting with my first taste of United's new pricing policy for oversize baggage. I'll avoid going too far into this topic because I could spend considerable time deriding the airline and it's efforts to stay profitable, but I will say that spending $125 to check my bike box is a travesty. Considering that I have to check another bag to keep my bike box light enough to avoid a $225 fee, I end up paying $280 for baggage by the time I fly to my destination and back. It's bad enough that I'm paying for additional weight when I'm a skinny triathlete, but they won't insure against any potential damage even with the fee. Add to it the fact that they decided to send my bag to Oklahoma City under another passenger's name, and I was pretty unhappy with the service. Fortunately I had arranged to stay with fellow pro triathletes Amy and Brandon Marsh who live in Austin, so I was able to rally enough gear to train with their Masters swim team on Saturday morning, and go for a nice spin right afterwards. My legs felt a bit heavy from the training and the travel, and I flatted a tubular on the training ride, but by the time the race started on Sunday I had my own gear and I was ready to race. The venue was east of town at Decker lake, and warm temperatures all summer in Austin had left the water a balmy 78 degrees on race morning and eliminated any possibility of a wetsuit swim. I felt okay in the swim, eventually settling into a good group that came out about 1:30 down from the bigger lead group. My goal was to get up to the leaders as quickly as possible, so I hit full gas from the beginning of the bike until I caught on at about mile 28. I could see that there were at least 2 more guys up the road by about 30 seconds, so I decided to pick up the pace again and see if I could put some time into the big group before the run. I jumped past the group and caught Joe Gambles and Paul Ambrose shortly after, but we were only able to put about 2 minutes into the chasers by the end of the bike. I felt okay through 3 miles, trying to stay conservative and hit 6 minute pace, but I started to fade a little after that. I don't think I had a truly bad run given the course and conditions, but I didn't quite have the legs I was hoping for, and it was probably because I laid it on the line for the bike and paid the price. I could have played it more conservatively and sat with the big group, but with a strong field like that I decided to give it a go. The good news is that my cycling form is better than it's ever been, and I know I will be ready for Ironman this fall with some more hard training in the next 5 weeks. To finish off the weekend, Brandon, Amy, and another pro triathlete, Mark Van Akkeren, and I all went to eat at the funky Chuy's TexMex joint for dinner. It may be the fact that this run was on trails and asphalt as opposed to the sufferfest concrete run at Harvest Moon, but my legs are already feeling much more recovered than the last race. Time to get into the hardest training of my life in prep for Arizona. Next up is the Soma Half Ironman in Tempe on the 26th for a little course recon and another shot at a decent prize purse thanks to Redrock owner Tim Deboom.

1st Place Animas Mountain Mug Run

This past Sunday was one of my favorite local Durango races. I don't get an opportunity to do all the regional events with my traveling schedule, but I always try to fit the Animas Mountain Mug Run in for a good, hard effort. The trail leaves from the northern end of town and heads up a series of switchbacks before climbing the outer edge of the sandstone-capped plateau. This has become a favorite training run of mine, so I am familar with the terrain; predominantly singletrack trail winding through the gambel oak, pinon, juniper, and ponderosa pine at the upper limits of the loop. The run is a good challenge because it's essentially straight up, and then straight down, starting in town at 6500 ft. and climbing to 8100 ft. in a little over 3 miles. I've seen a number of cyclists jump in the race after ending their season, and they can usually be competitive on the uphill sections, but the biggest hurdle really comes on the downhill. The trail widens about half way down and is riddled with loose rock and some significantly steeper pitches, so being alert and keeping at least partially in control are critical. Almost every year there are at least 2 or 3 people who take a digger on the descent, so it's been my plan to go clear on the strenuously aerobic uphill, and then do my best to hold it together and avoid taking too many risks on the downhill. This year that mindset is particularly important with Ironman as my ultimate goal, so I went for the lead from the gun. I held a smaller advantage than I hoped for through the first mile, but then I gradually began to pull away from my rivals and held a 3 minute lead over the top of the climb. I was hoping to improve my course record from the previous year, so I stayed on the gas, crossing the line in 43:51 for the 6.6 miles, which shaved 29 seconds off my time from 2007. I didn't have long to enjoy my win because another loop of the course and 2 1/2 hours of riding were in store for the rest of the day. Fortunately, I'm doing a good job of recovering from the demanding training agenda, and I'm looking forward to a big test at the Longhorn Ironman 70.3 in Austin, Texas, on the 5th. This weekend looks to be a training trip to the Utah desert around Moab for a change of scenery and to help crew for the local adventure racing team as they conclude their season with the 3 day competition.

1st Place Harvest Moon Half Ironman

This past weekend I made the trip to Denver for the Harvest Moon Half Ironman, traveling with a crew of local Durango triathletes. We left early on Saturday to ensure plenty of time to do some training on the course before we called it an early night. I entered the weekend unsure of my form after a hard mountain bike crash last Saturday, but when we warmed up on the course I could tell that my legs were ready. In the words of Carlos Sastre, I had "good sensations." I haven't raced a half since I did Lake Stevens in July, so I was ready to test my fitness and remind my body what it was like to go hard for that distance. The air and water temperatures were cold (although nowhere near as cold as this year at the Battle at Midway triathlon), but I was feeling good after a short warm-up. The race didn't have a stacked field, but I knew it was going to be hard to beat Team Timex amateur Tim Hola out of the water. My plan was to swim my race, and then go to work on the bike and run. I found some good feet after about 500 meters (thanks to James Bales), and sat on for the remainder. As we exited the water, I heard a spectator yell that we were only 45 seconds down, so I focused on having a quality transition and keeping Tim in sight. The Harvest Moon course was a mixture of some good rolling hills and relatively flat sections, and by the midpoint of the second decent roller around mile 3, I had caught Tim and began to distance myself from the field. I honestly didn't start feeling like my legs were working hard until about mile 15, as the evaporative process left me pretty cold. The open plains outside Denver are notoriously windy, and even though they were nowhere near as bad as they could have been, there were some headwind sections where I had to hunker down and really focus on my position to gain more time. I used this race for a chance to experiment with my nutrition a little bit, but the temperatures made it difficult to want to eat and drink as much as I would in a normal race. Still, I was able to put down a bottle of Hammer's Perpetuem throughout the ride, and supplement it with my normal gel intake, and I felt ready for the run when I rolled into T2. I didn't really know where I stood in terms of a lead, but any lead is a good one. I hit the first part of course and regained sensation in my feet around mile 3, so I picked up the pace to ensure that I would stay away. The run course was probably about 8o% concrete, with slight rollers and lots of curves around small inlets at the resevoir. By the turnaround on a long straight section, I couldn't see anyone behind me, so I felt confident that I would be able to hang on for the victory. In the closing miles, my legs were feeling the effects of running hard on the concrete, but I pushed it for the practice and was rewarded with a PR for the half ironman distance and a new course record, crossing in 3:57:55. Given that the race was still at considerable altitude, the bike course was challenging, and the temperatures were less than optimum, I'm confident that my form is good heading into the hardest training I will have before Ironman Arizona. Next race is the Longhorn Ironman 70.3 in Austin, Texas, on the 5th of October, so I will be looking to battle with the likes of Simon Lessing, Joe Gambles, Leon Griffin, Bjorn Andersson, and Brandon Marsh for the top spots.

1st Place AXS Adventure Race Vail

Just back from another weekend race near Vail, Colorado. This was only my second adventure race ever behind the AXS Moab race earlier this spring, but I was confident that our team would be able to come away with the win. The Zia Four Corners Adventure Racing Team consisted of soon-to-be 7 time Ironman Hawaii triathlete Brett Sublett, Xterra professional Shonny Vanlandingham, local triathlete and adventure race extraordinaire Tom Ober, and myself. The team to beat was Boulder Performance, so we set the tone early on the first mountain bike leg by putting about two minutes into them before the trail run/orienteering section. The interesting thing about adventure racing is that in the team format you are allowed to put slower team members on tow for the bike and run. This means that if one person is struggling to keep up and another is feeling stellar, they can link up and work together. We knew we had more athletic firepower than their squad when they put one of their team members on tow from the very beginning and kept her there for each of the bike and run legs where we saw them. We made a few minor mistakes on the navigation section, taking longer than Boulder to find some of the checkpoints, but after the second bike leg we held a considerable advantage, and we ended up winning by about 15 minutes when we finished after the second kayak leg. Of course it wasn't just that we had a more fit squad, because we also made a gamble on the second mountain bike leg, hoping that our decision to backtrack for a checkpoint would pay off. After discussing the decision with teams who completed the loop in order to get the second checkpoint, it confirmed that we had made the right choice. Apparently the section we skipped involved slightly more technical, and thus slower, downhill. Unfortunately the race wasn't all just peachy, because I took a decent tumble on the moutain bike near the end of the race, bruising and scraping my right side (see above). Of course it hurt and I'm pretty stiff today, but I'll recover well and race hard this coming weekend in Denver for the Harvest Moon Half Ironman. More to come...