Kona Race Report.

It is with less than usual motivation that I compose this blog entry. Perhaps it is still too close to the race to give an accurate description of all that I feel about my day, but for the sake of candidly recollecting details and giving a timely update, I will carry on...

Pre-race found me surprisingly calm, bordering on the lethargic while I awaited the event. Complacency it was not, but the under radar methodology felt right this time, and spending too much time at the expo or out in the hot sun on the feet can end a race before it begins. One quick morning run with Rasmus Henning, Dan Hugo, Michael Kruger, and Martin Jensen, a couple short rides and swims, and plenty of time at the Specialized condos left me feeling ready.

The Caveman: Always serene.

The usual churning, forward creeping anxious triathlete thrashing signaled that the cannon was about to sound, and then head in the water to silence (save my steady breathing). I was out very clear with Macca to my left and Martin Jensen to my right. I let them go just a little to fall in behind, and found myself able to match pace on the draft. Could it be? I was swimming so smoothly, and knew my ocean bottom markers... Sunken tire, 1k across from the Coast Guard can, deeper water means we must be nearing the first turn buoy, etc. At a touch over 3k I tried to move away from Tyler Butterfield and he let a little gap open, but we never lost sight of the leaders, coming in about 40 seconds back. When I saw 52:17 on the clock, and then many of the faster swimmers just mounting their bikes to leave, I was elated. This was exactly what I had been dreaming of all year! A life-changing swim...

I attacked hard to catch on in the early miles, and bridged by 4-5 miles on the Kuakini. There were many athletes who made the lead pack, and it was quite ridiculous to see the dynamic firsthand. On the way out to the airport, I barely felt like I was riding, yet we were rolling along at speeds approaching 30 miles per hour...

Nervous to be at the back of the group where the yo-yo effect would be the strongest, I made a move to get up where I could observe some of the major players on the bike. At about 29 or 30 miles, Dirk Bockel was in front of me on the left, and I could not get closer than 10m, but our progress forward was deemed too slow, and I was shown a redcard for "failure to pass in 20 seconds." The next penalty tent was at mile 38, so I did my best to gain a little time before pulling over, but that only amounted to about 20 seconds, and I watched the group ride off to Kawaihae...

I attempted to compose myself, eating and drinking while the stopwatch held me captive, but admittedly I was cracked. From such an emotional high to absolute devastation within moments, and I was caught in my small tragedy. As someone said afterwards, every mistake at Ironman Hawaii is magnified, and seems much worse than any other race. I pride myself on being mentally tough, but Saturday I let the anger and frustration derail my focus. The rest of the ride home was autopilot, head down and alone in the winds...

Out on the run, I was determined to at least run well past my explosion point of last year, and I managed about 12 good miles of running before stomach issues slowed my progress. I walked, jogged, and ran my way slowly through the energy lab, back to the top of Palani, and then onto Ali'i drive one more time to finish the World Championships. Despite all the disappointment, I was able to muster a smile amidst the finishline energy. This is a very special race indeed.

Another good learning experience to cap off my best season to date. It looks like I will be done racing for 2010, but back with new determination and focus in 2011. Failure to achieve goals is often part of the learning process, and I am happy to say my understanding grows with each passing day. The promise of better Kona races lightens my heart, and the vast beauty and mystery of the big island keeps my human desires in check. Cheers to the journey... the growth and evolution of dreams.